It’s seven days until my birthday.  So I sit at my computer desk, content, listening to one of the finest artists ever, Emilie Autumn. Aswell as being seven days until Iam legal, it is also the last technical day of the half term. Need to do a lot of work. Tomorow I am going to see Bring Me The Horizon.  I am looking forward to that =]

At this particular moment in time being 23.25pm I am still recovering from a 16 hour E induced high. The nights events where possibly the best in my life. I established my beliefs in the world and they actually make sense to me for once. I feel a lot more in tune with myself and my soulmates. (I believe you can have more than one soul mate) .  Me and Hali are soul mates in the fact that we are actualy exactly he same apart from the obvious thing (lol). We produced a peice of artwork whilst feeling our energies flow into the paper through 3 implements. The power charcoal, the ground crayon and the sky crayon. This probab;y sounds so stupid to you, but you have NO idea how amazing it is to know thtat you’re not alone and that your assumptions all come true at once.

 It was an incredible night. No it was not my first time on  E for anyway wondering if I’m just being retarded.

And now, I know so much about myself. I’ve put my thoughts into concrete because all of my questions have been answered, I’ve been practically freed of the worst parts of my past and I feel free. So fucking free. I’ve waited for this feeling for 8 years.  Yo don’t know how much it means to me.

I have not seen the loe of my life for almost 2 weeks. This puts me into a different kind of, I wouldn’t say depression, lets say , state. Love-sick, melancholy, tired, having no motivation to do anything. I hate this feeling.

I have to go and get some sleep as I pnly had 30 mins of sleep during that 16 hour high. I feel MONGED.

Back to school on Monday(see Jim), doctors appointment on Tuesday, Wednesday school,  Thursday Dodges birthday(HAPPY B-DAY HUNNY) , Friday MY BIRTHDAY.

I will be going to the cinema with Vicki and freak’n'jew.com to go see whatever is on, so we can have a girls night , we haven’t had one for SO long. It brings up unwanted questions. After that, on Saturday everyone invited is to come to my house, drop their stuff off and we all head down to bowling, we bowl 1/2 games.  We return to my house with lots of alcohol and we order in pizza. It will be the best birthday of my life.

I’ve cut my thigh =[ Ow.

Caley xx

I do not like today.

I feel a bit off, but not ill. It might have been my dream; it may just be lack of sleep. I would like to know.

Gah, why does the human mind never cease to amaze me? But in the worst way possible.

Okay first of all, I’ll try and write as much of my dream down as possible.

(I think watching ‘The Crow’ before going to sleep may have encouraged this sort of dream, but my lord the ending was weird ^.^)

It started off where my mum, dad, aunt uncle and my closest friends and I went to a smallish house. (I’m not sure why, weekend away maybe) We all settled in fine and just started going about our day. This house was very dull, it must have been old because everything was covered in dust and the floor creaked and the wood was very rotten. Anyway, as the day went on nothing odd happened, but when me, Jim, Vicki and Tasha got back to the house (we were there by ourselves) there was blood pouring down the walls, and I turned round to see a woman stood in a long black dress at the top of the stairway (looked much like Night wish Tarajararajaranna) ((I don’t spell her name well ^^)) she had LOTS of swords and such, so naturally, I backed into the room with everyone else and said “Oh, shit.”The woman made her way down stairs and stood in the doorway, she looked up through her long, shining black hair and glanced at me, I ran. I heard a scream, and I went back to the room to see Tasha with a sword straight through her. I took it out and swung at the mysterious woman. I slashed her arm. Jim grabbed a sword and started to help me. Vicki tended to Tasha. The woman took out a gun, I ran out to the cupboard where I had previously seen a gun, I came back in; she shot me in the shoulder. I shot back and got her in the stomach. She started aiming for Jim, I continued to shoot at her as much as I could, I got her twice through the heart but as she went down she fired once more at Jim, and with everything I could, I dived in front of him and took the bullet, in the side. When morning came, we all got on the bus and no one spoke of what had happened. 

Weird, no?

Well, that kind of fucked me up. So I thought I’d share it with you. At least it wasn’t the other dream.

Oh god.

Shouldn’t have said that.

X

Okay.

I am be having Louise here next to me and we just arrived home from a grueling 2 and a half hours worth of auditions for “Anything Goes”

My feet hurt, I really want to play ‘Reno’  but I know I wont.

I’m tired and and and andandnandandnandn

I now have to practice for my dance exam which is lovingly on   TUESDAY.

Fuckety fuck fuck shit balls and arsewank.

=’[

That is all.

x