Never say never.
Firstly, I need a big cuddle. Just to make sure everything is real and I’m not going completley insane and my life is changing before my eyes. I mean, ah!
Two very important applications are sat on my desk just waiting to be filled in, one I HAVE to do TONIGHT. I’m applying for the world challenge. One of my deepest (yet concealed) passions. Now it all comes out though. I am applying for this because I want to be challenged, I want to help others I wasnt to be in a team with the same drive as me and with the same passion as me. I want to know I’m not useless and I want to know that I am worth something.
My mother keep sasking me if I realise what it entails, of course I do, I’ve wanted to do it since year 7. I want to raise the money by myself, I want to face all the challenges ahead and I want to let people know I CAN.
The second application form is my sixth form application. The next 2 years of my life depend on that peice of paper and what I write on it. I need to get a B in PHYSICS to do one of the subjects my heart is set on. So, no doubt, I’ll break down mentally due to over studying physics and then failing anyway because I’m a retard like that. So, my future is nigh and yet, I’mnot fazed by it, just, I have brain block today and I can’t think of how to word something so important.
I miss Jim. I really do. I ned him and his hugs and I don’t have them. How upsetting. I love him so much, it’s been a year and a weekish ^.^ yayyyy!
Anyway, I still hate everyone who is younger than year 11. I hate trends, I hate everyone on Myspace except people who are genuine and I HATE school.
Please cheer me up. Anybody?
Returning.
to the good ole days when I looked good and no one could ever hurt me.
Never been so hurt and terrified.
So much has happened and so much has changed.
My borthday was fantastic, thank you so much to everyone who came.
Friday- Night out with the girls and night in with Jim.
Saturday- Party. But thats when everything happened.
My dog slipped a disk at my party and she was paralysed.
My mumtook her to the vets on sunday morning again, Jim and Lloyd were the only people left in the house by the time she got back.
I heard her come back, she came up to my rom where I was cleaning up the party.
She told me my dog had to be put down.
she was gone.
I screamed.
Screamed and cried in disbelief. I was MORTIFIED.
I still refuse to believe it now.
then seein the woman in black the day after that happening didnt help my mental state.
So I thought I’d let you all know that I am an emotional WRECK.
I made a video tribute to her today, and it’s on my myspace.
Thankyou to everyone who is supporting me currently.
xxx
