Hello to all you , male, female, not quite sure, readers.

It’s that time once more, the second blog of the month, nearing the end of the month, but nonetheless a very exciting near-end-of month indeed.

I first of all would like to apologise for the mere rambling of this blog, I’m just in one of those moods where the words aren’t quite clear enough in my head so I’ll either make ones up or ramble on , such as here. Again, apologies.

The title of this blog, ’seeing things’ was chosen momentarily before I started to type because I thought I saw something move towards me at a fast pace, but I was mistaken, and I do keep seeing things, therefore I believe I am going sliiiightly mad. So please don’t read too far into the title.

It is a Sunday, which means tomorow spouts a week of energy, lack of sleep, drinking, excitment, smiles and laughter, and probably some other cheerful things, such as sex. Just to clear things up in my own head, and to give you ll an idea of my buzzing schedule, I thought I’d quickly type it out clearly so that I cna make eay reference to it later on.

Monday: Finish up all the birthday stuff for tuesday, have a bath, hopefully Jim’ll be here =D.

Tuesday: Meet Louise at 10am , hand in all my books and shizz, get the money back from that (must find biology and chemistry ones). Then mooch into town (hand in apps and stuff). Walk back to mine. Await peoples arrival at 1pm, my house. Then walk down to Watermead, meet some people there and have a picnic party (incase of rain, back to my house). Everyone picked up at 7ish. I go to Nicks.

Wednesday: THORPE PARK.

Thursday: Floyd 6th form induction, I don’t know if it’s worth me going.

Friday: Meet Louise at 12.30. Go to Toni and Guy, get my hair done up all lovely. Taxi home, then be excited and take pictures of my hair. Meet everyone here at 3.30. Makeup lady here at 4pm. Get ready, dressed and prettied. Mini bus here at 7pm. Go to PROM. Everyone back here for 12.30. Party on.

Saturday: Get Jim up and off to work. Have a bath and stuff. Get ready for tento (weather dependant). Have a laugh at Tento.

 So that’s pretty much it. So I am a busy bee.

Slightly frustrated but I refuse to complainin this blog. I’ll be nice =D

So my love to everyone and I shall see omst of you on Tuesday =D

xxxxxx

Okay this just has to be said.

I am utterly confused, I am so fucking fed up of being left alone all the time, feeling unappreciated all the time and having to fucking spell things out for people all the time. But most of all I am fucking fed up of complaining all the time, but it seems to be the only way to get some stuff through to people.

I feel so angry and I dont know why, I feel upset and I dont know why.

all i’m asking for is some care, some physical care. actions speak louder than words and all tat jazz.

This blog isn’t aimed at anyone by the way, just  … everyone I guess.

I’m sick and tired of looking i the mirror and remebering how I used to be and how happy I was then realising that I know I’ve changed. I’ve changed for more reaons than most people can comprhend. I’ve changed for good and for bad and it’s left me like this.

I am extremley disappointed in myself, and I’m sure that dissapointment will be continued when I get my exam results back too.

I sick and tired of feeling ill. For christs sake it’s been over a month now and there have been hardly any improvements.

I may aswell stop trying.

seems to be the only logical answer for me at this moment in time.