mood swings =O
Ok, a little different from the previous title, but that’s what lifes about right? Changes. Before you run away scared, no it isn’t an omg my life is shit and everyhtings changing teenager blog. It’s a, I need to write this down for my own sake blog.
Thinking:
I’m exhausted. Problems EVERYWHERE. I wish, just once, I’d get a suprise gift or something to take my mind off everything. I wish my life turned out like the way I daydream. I always think that, “if this was a movie, he’d of done this by now, and she would’ve said this instead of that” but it never happens. I just wish people could think more like me or atleast more like the movies. I wish sometimes I didn’t have to hint people to say thank you or whatever. I wish I could stop wishing and just have things happen nicely.
It’s complicated, the same things go round and round in my head but if I keep repeating them, I’m sure to just dig myself a hole and stay in it for the rest of my life. I google things to see what other people have done in certain situations, and it always comes up with dream answer, but I know stuff like that wont happen, so again, I start wishing.
I just like to feel appreciated and loved, and it’s weird, I’m not a very materialistic person, but sometimes, objects are they way to make me feel like that. Sounds stupid I know, BELIEVE ME, I know.
Anyway, other than that I’m not htinking straight atall, my overactive imagination is making me think horrible things about intimate moments, and I can’t make it stop. >.<
Feeling:
Worthless, fat, ugly, annoying, complaining too much, ungrateful, pathetic.
That kinda thing.
It’s ridiculous being me sometimes. I just can’t stop WISHING >.<
Love is …
Okay, Jim just told me what he thinks love is, and this got me thinking, what do I think love is?
I came up with this:
Love is the unbreakable connection between 2 souls.
Love is the smile on your face when you think of them secretley.
Love is the fact that you would give your life to make sure they weren’t harmed.
Love is an addiction to eachother.
Love is a bond so strong it wont break even through the roughest times.
Love is forgivness.
Love is a hug when you don’t even ask for one.
Love is a kiss when you least expect it.
Love is holding hands naturally in public.
Love is them being your first, middle and last thought, and the rest.
Love is laughing at eachother when you do something silly.
Love is that feeling of protection you get when they are near.
Love is falling asleep on them, as they hold you tight in their arms.
Love is the shouder they lend to cry on, and their hands that wipe away your tears.
Love is so complicated but somehow it just works.
Love is the memories, the ones that’ll last forever.
Love is the reason I get up in the morning.
Love is the reason I’ve tried so hard.
Love is the reason I am who I am.
Love … is somehting I NEVER want to let go of, not in a million years.
I love you Jim.
x
I love you so much, you must kill me now.
Good timing MM, thank you for that blog title. God meaning aswell.
I’ve been a bit off lately and haven’t completley recovered because now I’ve affected the person whom I love with all my heart, by making him worry about me because I’m worrying about him.
There are lots of reasons why, and I wish it were easier for me to tell him =] But I’m not likely to spill my guts out to the world wide web, so don’t get excited. I mearly thought you all deserved a slight reason why I’ma bit weird and mood swingy.
It’s driving me quite mad.
Currently having a Marilyn Manson Marathon … and loving it thanks.
xxxx
pwned.
1-A – Enlish Language
2-B – English lit, RS.
4-C – MATHS, SCIENCEx2, Drama,
2-D – Spanish, ICT
1- E – Dance (lol)
Watch out BTEC NATIONAL DIPLOMA in BEAUTY THERAPY, here I come, and in 2 years you’ll see a bit of paper with the words “PASSED WITH A MOTHERFUCKING DISTINCTION” on it.
Suck it.
Good luck everyone I love you all ^^
xxx
Bricking it.
I don’t understand how my results day got so soon =O
I remember the last day of year 11 as if it were yesterday, and taking exams.
Yet, tomorrow I’ll get my results for said exams. I’m NOT looking forward to it. If I get ONE A, I’ll be happy.
But I need that fucking C in biology >.<
Jim isn’t here to hug, so I feel quite lonely too. I haven’t slet because I’m worrying so my imagination is becoming overactive, which isn’t good.
I keep thinking the worse for everything, results, relationships and friendships.
I need sleep=( and Jim =( and a cuddle, and for tomorow to go my way … for once.
I don’t want to dissapoint anyone, orm yself for that matter. I worked my butt off for these grades and I thought I’d done okay after each exam, but, when I think I’ve done well, I’ve always failed, so that doesnt bode well for tomorow tbh.
xxxxx
Tonight’s the night.
I feel like blogging, I know no one ever bothers to fucking read it but I like to do it in hope of one day I’ll discover something wonderful.
So today I had Katie, Lucy and Czapski riound for a games night, and we had PS2 and Wii =]. It was a lot of fun a nd gave me the fun and laughs I really needed =] It was great to see them again too. I failed at buzz twice though =( so I fear my crown has been taken from me.
An update on me? Well, I fell quite shite, and my arm is actually killing me and I’ve no idea why. I get to see my Jim on Friday however =] He started work today and I hope he likes it there. Other than that I’m not a very interesting person so there’s not much to update on =(. However I have rediscovered The Darkness (an all time good old cheese ylove of mine ^^)
My events? Well, Tento might be coming up soon, then the all dreaded results day, College *crosses fingers* and LOLFEST ep.2 =D (my party that I hold every so often). I’m writing a story atm, nothing fantastic just an exploitation of whatever writing skills I do or do not have. More information later =]
Unfortunatley for some, I have become a slight health freak now. Smoothies, swimming and sex. That’s my diet, and I’m sticking to it. Foods ofcourse are healthy in the abundance but the occasional takeout wont harm espesh if I ‘m feeling utterly shit, it helps ^^
I’m thinking about starting like, a mini comic strip or somethign like it, so any suggestions pray tell =]
Oooh, going to see ‘ The Sound Of Music’ on Wednesday ^^ should be good.
Jim gets the internet tomorrow so that should be good for me =] My nightly dose of love =]
Yet again The Sims 2 is taking over my life =D Unlike the original game, I don’t have all the new expansions so I’m working with Sims 2 and University. I am DAMN good =D
Thats about it in the world of me, I’ll get back to story writing and internets now =]
G’night and sweet dreams.
xxx
o.O
I will be he utter most depressing person for a while so I am warning you now =]
Jim gawn and I miss him so much already, I may die =(
I still want a holiday, and I stilll wanna go back to cambridge.
that is all I guess.
x
