It’s that time of the month again, when I feel the need to blog.

Not ‘that’ time of the month though

Tbh, i don’t have the same amount of complaints as I  usually do.

I’m strangley mellow.

Got MeatLoaf and Fanta.

tbh, not a care in the world, excpet I got back and leg pains =( silly college.

None of the past matters to me any more, I realised that a few weeks ago. It took, A LOT, and I hope everyone appreciates how much it took for me to let go of that. I can’t say I’m not still hurt, because I am, but it’s not something I’m going to let plague perfection anymore.

It’s Jims birthday today aswell :] I got him a limo ride to hemel and a suprise party with his available close friends :] I was proud of my hard work.

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNSHINE:D)

I’m unintentionally hating myself currently, I’m not sure what it is but I don’t think I’m good enough to sing how I want to , or to do makeup how I want to. AND i’m still overweight. It’s VERY depressing.

I need a job, desperatley, so I can start driving, unless you wanna ive me illegal lessons and then I wont have to pay for 20 proffesional ones.

I’m enjoying life at the moment, though I’m missing all my friends so much, it makes my heart wrench.

I hope all is well with everyone who may read this.

Taraa for now.

x

Getting stuff off my chest.

Had a dream on Saturday night i believe, and it went a little something like this:

Me and Jim went shopping in Tescos, we were walking around xcasually and we bumped into our friends Andy and Dodge. We had a lovely chat and carried on shopping together, and laughing. We turned down one, quite large aisle, and I saw a girl kneeling to look at the bottom shelf.  Then suddenly, it struck me, (you know when something shocking hapens in a film and the camera goes full zoom onto a persons face going “OMG”, well that kind of realisation) It was Harley (like, my nemesis XD) Jim, Dodge and Andy (who all know full well about my feeligns for that tramp) grabbed me by the arms to restrain me, but 3 guys could not hold me back, I screamed at the 3 of them to “let me the fuck go” like, serious screaming, drawing attention from other shoppprs kind of drama. She looked up off her knees (which is where she shouldve stayed, i thought to myself) and i broke free from my guys, walked with rage in my step, anger on my face, and violence in my body and bloodstream, i picked her up, by her neck, and smacked her in the face, repeatedly, all the while screaming at her at how she’s ruined me. I smacked and punched and kicked, until finally, when there was no more breath for her to take and no more of her blood to spill on the floor, i regained my hold of her neck and slammed her head down to floor. My face covered in her blood and my tears, my ears ringing with the sounds of my screaming, her wailing, and others shouting. I had THE biggest sense of satisfaction wash over me. The Tesco guard naturally kicked me out. Then I awoke.

I woke up, and my fists where as tightly curled as possible, i woke up wishing it was real, I woke up wishing and hoping that one day the law will see what I did as justice, and not put me away. So that maybe oneday, it might come true.

x