2007
Probably one of the toughest years so far. Things were lost, things were gained. Hearts were broken, and they may not yet be fixed, but they’re trying.
I started the year with Jim, and luckily ended the year with Jim. However much I thought I’d scare him away over the year ^^ I swear the man is insane to stay with me considering how unstable and angry I can get =]
The mock exams happened, i failed, miserably. However when i worked a little harder during study leave, to get into AY College, I got the grades and left the Floyd =( Which has upset me, more than some people might think. So I’ve become a college student and am doing alreet.
I had no holidays in 2007, which would explain a lot of pent up anger and stress and illness. I had no time to be away from everything that seemed to spiral downwards out of my control. So I suffer through it =]
I made new friends, which I never thought I would do. Crazy ^^ I gained and lost a job (not fired, the shop closed) and work experience! So I back to the old unemployed me. Yay?
Things from 2007 will always stay with me, I don’t know why, it was just an epic year full of so much happening so fast. So many changes I just can’t really believe it. I’m amazed that I’m still (slightly) sane.
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Started the year with nans funeral (never a good start)
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Failed my mocks
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Pissed around for my final time at the Floyd to make the most of it
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Did OK in my GCSES
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Summer Holidays, quite a bit without Jim who went on 2 holidays =(
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Jim then moved to Cambridge
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I went to visit and almost died =]
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Hit a really low patch towards the end of the year tbh
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I started Beauty Therapy
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I turned 17
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It was Christmas =D I got monies and Jim
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I learned a LOT about myself, but I’m still trying to avoid some points in my head =] For every-ones sake.
So we came to the end of the year, and began a new, still as confused as ever, still scared of what has happened, what might happen, and what inevitably will happen.
It’s so tiring being human.
Happy New Year.
In light of sunny July.
It is July 
(for those who didn’t know), and I have been on many adventures ♥
I went to London on the 14th of July and went to Hyde Park for Londons biggest water fight, in which I got drenched and I’ve buggered up my arm by being the only one capapble of falling over as soon as it started =D.
The very same day I saw Wicked for the 2nd time, but this time with a different cast.
All was done in the company of Nick.
Before this date however I was royally screwed over by the Floyd on the night of the summer ball and came out of the whole photographizzle gig £100 richer, that is all.
On Friday I believe I have the almighty Emilie Autumn gig =D
Jim goes on his first holiday on Saturday, which sucks =( I’m gunna be bored off my face.
Any-hoo I have purchased the Sims University, and plan on pplaying that for the rest of the day, and by day I mean month.
xxxx
Now then,
Well, It’s been a while (these words are typed too much, I admit and apologise) but I thought I ought to just type =]
I went to Jims prom the other day, it was a heck of a lot of fun, and I looked alright ^^ always a bonus. I stayed at his house afterwards and then went to an alcobooze at Daves which was HILLARIOUS. My first ever game of Ring Of Fire, and hopefully not my last.
I’m well into my GCSEs at the moment, having already completed 6. Which went okay but I don’t have the highest hopes. Ah well, they’ll be over on the 15th.
The end of June is proving to be fun-packed and I can guarentee I will be KNACKERED in July =D.
22nd- Jims friends party . 23rd-I’m sure somethings happening here. 26th-Louise and Giles bendover woods do. 28th- Floyd 6th form thing. 29th – Prom. 30th- Tentopolis =D.
My liver is going to hate me =D.
Anyway, I do have one declaration to make, I love Jim, he’s like the best, he pwns you all and I love him more than he loves me. =D
bored now.
laters =]
xxx
*Dramatic Sigh*
Okay, it’s time for a rant, I do not know how long this rant will be or where it may lead, I just know that there is something building up inside of me that needs to get out now before I take it out on even more people that I love.
Let’s make a start before it’s too late.
Item One
The typical teenage rant on how they feel. Here I go again.
I’ve currently missed Jim for God only knows how long. I haven’t been able to sleep and this has subsequently made me ill. I have been ill and therefore a little unhappy. I have been working my but off for 2 weeks, some of may not believe this, but yeah, my butt has been in gear. Two drama rehearsals which have driven me up the wall and round the equator added to my bad mood. Some of us put in time and effort to get these things right after making exceptions for others, the others let you down and are too up themselves to work as hard as they can.
Because I’ve been working hard whilst I’m ill, I thought it might be nice for someone to take care of me or acknowledge the fact that I’ve worked that hard and say well done. (No, I am not fishing for praise, so please, don’t feel obliged). So I invited Jim round today. (here comes the bitchy part for which I apologise in advance) I asked him to text his mum and ask before he got home because he had lost his drivers liscence and debit card and I thought he’d have moer of a chance coming over if they didn’t know that. But he asked them during dinner after his dad had gotten in a stress about the lost cards and I had been waiting for an answer all day, my mum invited him to stay over o the condition I changed my bed, cleared the rubbish, helped put up the shelves and looked after the puppy for a while. All of which i did whilst awaiting an answer. And the answer was that he couldn’t. (Told you this was bitch y and I’m sorry, but I am NOT in the mood).
So I now feel let down very upset, very ill, very angry, very fucking pissed off because being let down is what my dad does to me. And that’s why me and my dad don’t have a fantastic relashonship and I don’t want mine and Jims relashonship to go that way.
I know it’s not his fault. but good god.
Good god.
So anyway, in traditional Caley terms or mannerisms or whatever it’s called (I’ve forgotten the word) I feel as if no one cares eough to jeapordise a small thing to come and take care of me, thats all I’m asking for, some one to take care of me, I’ve needed it all week, and I haven’t got it. Theres one more thing I’d love to say on here but I am not going to because it would hurt some feelings.
pretty much.
Examine.
Exams are upon us, but I believe the worst are over =] Maths (which I didn’t and don’t intend on doing) Sciencs gone and Englishes (only hard because of the stupid questioning.).
However, tomorow I have a dance exam in the morning which I am busting my butt of revising for. It’ll be the only one I have revised for, however I will do the same for Spanish and Music. (I will undoubtebly fail Spanish anyway -due to random questioning at the end-
In other news, I am currently planning Jims birthday and we are both looking forward to it so much =D I love him loads ^.^
Errr, family stuffs as well as can be expected and I am looking forward to seeing my dad at thre weekend (and nabbing some cash off him).
Getting a puppy in April and hopefully a hamster sooner. (which I will call Mowgli because I love that name).
*dances*
I know have to fill in my sixth form application. How exciting for me.
xxx
Rawr.
So, I have a book on analysing dreams, if you need anything in your face sorted out, please tell me ^.^ How is everyone? I hate The Floyd. guhguhuguhguhugugugughghghgugughhh. boo. x 
Never say never.
Firstly, I need a big cuddle. Just to make sure everything is real and I’m not going completley insane and my life is changing before my eyes. I mean, ah!
Two very important applications are sat on my desk just waiting to be filled in, one I HAVE to do TONIGHT. I’m applying for the world challenge. One of my deepest (yet concealed) passions. Now it all comes out though. I am applying for this because I want to be challenged, I want to help others I wasnt to be in a team with the same drive as me and with the same passion as me. I want to know I’m not useless and I want to know that I am worth something.
My mother keep sasking me if I realise what it entails, of course I do, I’ve wanted to do it since year 7. I want to raise the money by myself, I want to face all the challenges ahead and I want to let people know I CAN.
The second application form is my sixth form application. The next 2 years of my life depend on that peice of paper and what I write on it. I need to get a B in PHYSICS to do one of the subjects my heart is set on. So, no doubt, I’ll break down mentally due to over studying physics and then failing anyway because I’m a retard like that. So, my future is nigh and yet, I’mnot fazed by it, just, I have brain block today and I can’t think of how to word something so important.
I miss Jim. I really do. I ned him and his hugs and I don’t have them. How upsetting. I love him so much, it’s been a year and a weekish ^.^ yayyyy!
Anyway, I still hate everyone who is younger than year 11. I hate trends, I hate everyone on Myspace except people who are genuine and I HATE school.
Please cheer me up. Anybody?
Emotional Breakdown Iminent
I hate the following things:
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School
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Coursework (could be included in school)
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My birthday being iminent
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Myself (cliche but not like that)
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The lack of organisation around here
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I am just, so pissed off right now. I want to cry and scream and smash stuff and hit people and make ebverything go RIGHT for once in my fucking life.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
Not a good day I hear you ask. No, not at all.
Okay, for starts, school.
This asylum has made me turn into a nervous wreck and provides more complications thn my brain will ever be able to cope with. Maths, Science being things I need to get B’s in to do Physcology, therefore thats one course gone for me and my reason to go to 6th form gone too.
I have my life planned, I just need the people to point me in the right direction. Please. GOod lord.
This bring me onto the organisation figure. ARGH. If everything I need sorted doesn’t get sorted TONIGHT there will be hell to pay.
Okay, rant over but breakdown still iminent.
xxxx
